Focused

Good morning, Friends.  I haven’t written in a while. Sometime over winter break, I began reading self help books, mainly those written by Rachel Hollis. You know the ones: Girl, Wash Your Face and Girl, Stop Apologizing. And at some point in the reading of these two books about empowerment and success, I decided that I just wasn’t good enough. I decided that the only way to become successful was to follow in the footsteps of Rachel Hollis and start my own lifestyle blog. So, I started writing about something I consider myself really good at- planning and organizing. I wrote 10-15 posts, and I did enjoy writing them, but in the process I caught myself doing it to check it off a list. I didn’t care about the topics. I was just good at it. Organization and planning come out of trying to mitigate anxiety for me. If I plan everything, I can’t possibly be surprised by unknowns, right? Wrong. As the monotony of the blogging grew, I began to realize that this blog,  Focused, was gett...

Good morning Friends! I hope that your holidays were fabulous this year, whether you celebrate Christmas, Hanukkah, or Kwanzaa. Happy Holidays. And now, we are 4 days out from New Years. The holidays are a strange time of year for me, and here’s why...they amplify the normal crazy of my life by like a thousand. Anybody else feeling that? Like there’s normal budgeting, and then there’s holiday budgeting. There’s normal meal planning, and then there’s holiday meal planing. Like for example, last week on Friday, I sat down to do my normal weekly meal plan, totally spacing on the fact that we were about to enter an insane holiday week. I forgot to buy potatoes for latkes (we celebrate Hanukkah). I forgot that we go out to Chinese food on Christmas Day, so I don’t need to meal plan that day. I forgot. I forgot. I forgot. And it’s okay. In response to my blog last week, I had a couple of comments from people who really want to meal plan but are struggling with the actual planning time or...

Good morning! Well, afternoon now, by like 40 minutes, but still. It has been a hot minute since I have written anything- like a year, honestly. I have wanted to get back into blogging, but honestly I told myself so many lies about it to keep excusing it. You don’t have time, Ashley... seriously, yes I do. I have time to Netflix bing five episodes of Glee, but I don’t have time to write a few words on a piece of paper. But, you’re an irrelevant force in the universe. Nobody will want to hear or much less read what you have to say. You know what? That’s bull. Over the last two weeks or so, I have discovered some things that have really helped me to start my personal growth journey again, and one of the big things is learning to identify the lies and excuses you give for not reaching for the best version of yourself and reject them. So all that to say, Hi again! Ashley is back and in full force, whether or not anybody else freaking cares. A couple of days ago, I did a super long, a...

Okay, vulnerable moment. Body image is something I have struggled with since I was a teenager, as is the case for most women. However, my struggle was not something that came from within. It was pushed on me from without- from the very person that any fifteen-year-old girl looks to- from my mother. I remember the day we were shopping for clothes and my mother told me I was ugly and hard to shop for because "My butt was too big, and my breasts sagged like an old lady's." I am sorry for the graphic info, but it's hard to convey without it. As a teenager, I was told I was fat and ugly, and it made me feel worthless. I literally did not even hit 100 pounds until I was 16, but normal development felt traumatizing and every pound I gained (which was completely normal for a developing woman) was the end of the world. My father even called me a fatty at one point. I cannot count the number of nights I cried myself to sleep feeling ugly and worthless. Eventually the venom ...

I have never liked New Year's Resolutions. While they seem great in concept, they seem like a setup for failure in action. However, I have always been a very goal-oriented person. Somehow for me, calling it a goal and not a resolution just seems so much more workable for me. Humanity. Specifically my own humanity. It has hit me like a ton of bricks the last few weeks. Here is some basic background on the situation. At our last family gathering, Grandma made the statement that she does not feel as if she will make it through the year. Having already lost Grandpa, that statement hit really hard. I have felt every emotion imaginable since that moment. My parents and siblings have been out of my world for two years now and out of Grandma's since Grandpa died in 2011. Still, while the rest of us have given up hope that my dad will ever change, she still holds out. She prays for him constantly, loves him unceasingly, and still hopes that God will change his heart. I hate watching...

This is a little out of my norm to write about or even comment about, but, after hearing about a rather objectifying comment made recently, I feel the need to say something weighing heavily on my heart. The comment was made, "Why put a ring on it when I can get it for free."  Now as a woman, and a married woman, that comment is disgusting to me. My first response was shock and then anger and then deep sadness. Men have forgotten that they are not just the takers in the relationship- they have  a gift to give too.  Here's where it gets a little inappropriate for young eyes. Sex is a gift- a beautiful gift from God meant to be enjoyed with your spouse in the holy covenant of marriage. But we have cheapened sex so much that it has become the entire object rather than a beautiful facet of connection with our spouse. And beyond that, in sex becoming the object, the person is now merely the delivery device. But it doesn't have to be this way. Many blogs like this focus o...