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The Potter and the Clay

          Growing up, I was always fed that verse about how God is the potter and we are the clay, and He can make a willing vessel do wonderful and beautiful things. However, it was not until recently that the gravity of what it actually means to be clay dawned upon me.
          To describe this, I have to associate it with a real life scenario that I am quite familiar with- mine and Daniel's story. Daniel is currently in San Fransisco, which means I am alone here in Texas with a lot of time on my hands. We get married in six days so you would think I would be swamped, but thanks to our planning skills, we are so close to done with planning that I really don't have anything left to do. Except think... So this morning I started to think back on the last blissful, beautiful nine months with my sweet soon-to-be husband... and all of a sudden it hit me like a ton of bricks... that none of this would have happened without us being moldable clay.
          My life has been a roller coaster. My parents divorced when I was young and I spent about two years with an abusive drug addict mother right after that. My dad was my only safe place, and when he finally got custody of my sister and me, I thought nothing could ever go wrong again. Nothing would ever again hurt me. And then, the one man I had trusted for my entire life...the very one protecting me hurt me deeply. I left home in 2015 and moved to Texas to finally start my life. Here, I have battled a whole new set of trials, but I have also found family and restoration and love. I made friends, made a difference, and finally started college. My life was beautiful.
          But one day, upon hearing my story...in a little more detail... someone asked me why I hadn't turned from God in all of this. At first, I was a little taken aback, like turning from God was even an option? But then finally I understood. I was loyal to my dad because he protected me and was always there for me, but when that day came that even my earthly father failed me, I still had someone to turn to. I didn't turn from God because He is the only One who has always been there... has always protected me... has always loved me... has always been faithful. God was all I had left for a time. I couldn't turn my back on Him.  And then I started thinking about Daniel's struggles and temptations, and I realized that even in his lowest moments, he still tried his best to honor God, to bring Him glory. He truly is a man after God's own heart.
          We were clay. And I don't in any way say this from an arrogant heart. I have had my fair share of stubborn moments when I did not want to budge. I have allowed other potters to try to mold me into what they want me to be instead of letting God make me into what He intends. But in the end, I was still moldable. If I hadn't left home even though it meant being ostracized by my family, if I hadn't moved to Texas and gone to college and made the friends I made, I would never have met the man I now get to marry. If I had not listened when the Father tugged at my heart to do something, I would not be the woman I am today. I used to wish I could go back and change the things that happened when I was little- to fix them so I had a good childhood. But each of those little things had some input on how I came to be who I am now. I would not change them for the world because they are the things that the Father used to shape me into the person that Daniel needs. And the same goes for Daniel.
          Sometimes I think Daniel and I have the cutest love story... that God just looks down and smiles as if he's watching some sappy chick flick. After all, He created this movie He's watching. He gave us each trials and tests and experiences to shape us into who we needed to be for each other, and then He brought us together through another series of trials and tests and experiences. This is the work of His masterful hands, but it is all because we both decided to be clay in His hands.

So two things I really want to encourage...
1. Let God lead. He knows what He is doing. Even if you don't think He does, He sees the big picture, when all we see is this little moment.
2. Let God write your love story, ladies. He can do a whole lot better than we can.
         

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